Challenge
by Sila-chan
Summary: In response to Rose Rovente's challenge...not just another day in Hogsmeade really, is it? Feature insane Harry, a burly security guard, topless, wet, Malfoy and a french frog. Oh...and of course Gred and Forge somewhere in the mix... :)


[CHALLENGE RESPONSE]  
  
In response to Rose Rovente's challenge  
  
Rules are:  
  
1. Must contain Fred and George. Must NOT contain the phrase: "other half"   
  
2. Must be in third person   
  
3. Must contain a green piggy bank  
  
4. No ships. No mention of ships. Rose doesn't like ships.   
  
5. Beer must spill. I like it when beer spills. Can you tell?  
  
6. Harry must use the phrase "fabric softener"  
  
7. Must NOT contain any female characters  
  
8. Fred must ask George for his trousers back no less than three times.   
  
9. Must contain an eloquent and charming frog  
  
__________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Woohoo! Hogsmeade!" Ron ran towards the gates of the village. Harry rolled his eyes. You'd think they were third-years or something.   
"Ron! Wait!"  
"Harry, I really have to go see Fred and George! They told me about this awesome thing they came up with, it was absolutely brilliant!" Harry stood there, patiently waiting for Ron to explain it. The sun shone...the grass was bent by a breeze. The cicadas chirped.  
Ron wandered off, distracted by a butterfly.  
"Grrrr! Weasley, why do I put up with you?" Harry threw his hands up in the air.  
"Probably because no one else will be your friend Potter. Besides that mudblood, of course." Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zambini had apparated next to Harry by accident.  
"Malfoy, get out of my way! I need to get to Ron before he does something stupid!"  
"I think you're about 16 years too late to stop his birth, Potter." Draco sneered, but he let Harry pass.  
"Come on, let's go get some butterbeer. I think Kingston's hungry. Aren't you?" He looked at the black peregrine falcon perched on his forearm. It attempted to bite his head.  
"She's so affectionate." Blaise remarked sarcastically.  
"I know. She loves me. All females do- Stop that you stupid bird!" Draco attempted to get Kingston off his head.  
  
"Now, now...where would that small boy be?" Harry wandered into the Hogsmeade grocery store.   
"Ice-cream! Ooh...fabric softener...So soft and lemony fresh..." He grasped it and held it against his face, stroking the packet. People stepped around the strange Boy Who Sat On The Floor And Hugged Fabric Softener.  
And so we leave Harry.  
  
"George? Where's my trousers?"  
"Do you mean pants, Fred?" George edged along the wall, looking sly.  
"Give me back my trousers! I picked the black and silver ones especially! They're mine!"  
"Mwahahahaha! Never!" George grabbed the offending pants and ran around the room.  
"Give me back my trousers George! I'll hex you!" Fred leapt over the furniture and attempted to bite his twin.  
"Waaaaa! No! No!"  
"Errr...Fred, George?" Ron asked timidly from the doorway.  
"Ron! Catch!" George threw the pants at Ron. They landed on his head.  
"Aaaaah! I can't see, I can't see!" Ron walked into the doorway and died.  
"Oops. Nevermind then. Where are my green and silver ones then?" George ran into the shop in his boxers and out into Hogsmeade waving the pair of green and silver pants triumphantly.  
"Mwahahahahahaha!" He ran into the bar.  
"May I help you?" A suave frog with a cute little moustache was tending the bar. George had burst in crazily, leaving the saloon doors swinging in his wake.   
"Mwahahahaha! I have the pants!" He crowed, brandishing them above his head as he leapt across tables. Draco and Blaise looked up briefly.  
"Well. Weasley's lost it." Draco remarked, before slipping a small vial of poison into Blaise's beer.  
"Haven't they all?" Absently, Blaise accidentally knocked the mug over.  
"Oh, now I've gone and done it. Whoops, sorry Draco, it accidentally went on your cloak. You know, the two thousand pound one?"   
"Ahhhh! Kingston, after him! No you stupid girl, not the peanuts! Not my salted nuts..."  
A customer in a cloak and hood leant over casually to the frog.  
"Say, er...where's the bar owner? And why are you serving real beer to minors?"  
"The dearest owner, oh flower of my heart, petal of my rose, has died. It is sad, is it not? So I plan to get all the customers inebriated to celebrate...or mourn my sun's passing. The earth hath ceased to move, the stars hath stopped shining. My love...oh my love..." The frog flopped onto it's back, flipper(?) clutching at it's heart, another arm thrown over it's eyes.  
"Oh how it huuuurts..." The frog wailed. It used its bartender's apron to wipe it's eyes. It sat up, suddenly alert.  
"But the show must go on. Weasley! Dance naked for the customers. I'm going to go write a 15 foot essay on the uses of Muggle brains in potions for Monseiur Snape."  
The customer was beginning to regret asking.  
  
"Blaise! Why you..." Draco choked Blaise by the neck. Blaise's hand flailed wildly and thus he managed to knock another tankard of beer over on Draco. Making him soaking wet. And mad. Draco ripped off his drenched shirt and prepared to do battle.  
"George!" Fred growled, flinging the saloon's doors open once more.  
"Eeep!" George pulled his boxers back on and ran out the back door.  
"GIVE ME BACK MY TROUSEEEERRRRRS!" Fred howled, deeply upset as he gave chase once more.  
  
Harry stroked the fabric conditioner packet.  
"Oh...you're so silky soft..."  
"Errr...sir? Are you going to pay for that? Coz er...if not, I'm afraid we're gonna have to arrest you." A burly security guard leant over Harry's whimpering form.  
"Pay? Pay...pay, yes I will pay." Out of nowhere, Harry whipped out the green piggy bank he'd been putting the penny's that Petunia gave him since he was but a wee mite.  
"Here you go sir...one penny...two penny...three penny...one ha'penny..."  
"Sir...I must insist you go the cash register. And it's three pounds a packet for Fabric Conditioner."  
Harry laughed gleefully.  
"Oh, but I have no less than three pounds in here! All in beautiful, shiny pennys..."  
  
Dumbledore burst in.  
"HARRY! DON'T BE STUPID! Ron's died of suffocation by pants!" Harry stared at him blankly.   
"RON!" He jumped up and ran after Dumbledore, leaving the green piggy bank on the floor.  
"The stupid bastard forgot to tell me what Gred and Forge did!" They ran out the doors. Warily, the security guard squatted and glared at the piggy bank. He was overcome by an irresistable urge to open it and count the pennys in it.  
  
"One penny, two penny...three penny...one ha'penny..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
errrr... ok well I had Madame Rosmerta's name in here...but it said no female characters....although technically she wouldn't have really been a character, more of a topic of conversation...but hey...didn't wanna take chances :) 


End file.
